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Hall of Shame (page 7)

Below are more stories of families unjustly separated by the "system" without representation of counsel and/or a Jury of their peers. The starting page, with an index, is here. These people have volunteered their stories so that everyone can understand the true damage being done, and also, so those who may be experiencing your own personal "nightmare" may realize -- you are not alone!  We want you to here them in their own words. We can't vouch for the accuracy of these tales and we hope you will understand the bitterness and frustration you will hear in some of these.

Name: Rose Pecora   Location:   Dubuque, Iowa

Email Addr: rosepecora@hotmail.com

Children/Birth Date: Jason 1-13-84,  Sean 4-28-88,  Alyssa 6-15-89

Date Separated: December 2000

To Whom It may concern:

Hi, My name is Rose Pecora I reside in the state of Iowa. I'm 39 year old single parent of three teens. The reason why I'm writing this letter is for some to listen to me . I'm being accused of abusing my teenagers and it is wrong for them to do that. Well, this is how it started in 1990. I had lost custody of my only daughter to her father. We had resided in Washington state at the time of the custody. Well, during her residing with her father my daughter was removed from his care in 1999 And placed in my custody in 99, where I reside now. in June of 99 I received her here. My middle son and my oldest where in my custody the whole time in 92 We had moved to CT in 92-95 I didn't have my daughter with us at that time While residing in CT my son was getting out of hand with his behavior so I placed him in residential treatment where he spent five years. My oldest was 11 years old at the time when I left the state of CT to get a better life for us else where.

I had my middle son the whole time though Well, my middle son and I moved to Iowa and we have resided since. well during the time I only had my middle son living with me till 1999. In February of 99 I got a phone call from the state of Washington saying that my daughter was taken from her father for abuse well, she came here in June of 99. well, in August of 2000 my oldest boy was 16 years old at the time came home to live to. So I had all three of my kids in the same house hold. And all of them were going under some stress and so was I. Well, some times I would go to a friends house over night and my 16 year old was always there for them and it wasn't like the had never knew where I was or a phone call away.

 Well, this all started in October of 2000 when I placed myself in the hospital for mental help. The date was Oct 24 2000, my kids were taken on October 25 2000 while under my friends care which she was a day care provider and licensed by the state of Iowa. They had filed a shelter care on me to remove my kids on nothing and my kids have been separated since.

They cps worker placed my two boys together but put me daughter alone with strangers. During the time she was in foster care here she attempted suicide twice and put back in the same care to them till they sent here back to Washington state where she has been in foster care ever since. She resided with me for a year in a half and was going to school and etc.( that I'll get in to a little more latter). There is so much to this and no one here will listen. 

The first meeting we had after the removal of my kids The caseworker angie becker said that they were sending my daughter back to Washington state because cps here in Iowa said they didn't want here her any more so they closed her case on the child in need of assistance and sent her back to no family that can provide for her. She was 12 when she got sent back there. Child protection came up with the excuse Washington said they wanted her back there because child protection services here in Iowa said no. My daughter has be residing in foster care for a whole year and we're here.

There is lots more -- after they sent her back to Washington they made me choose over my boys. My oldest boy didn't stay in foster care long because they couldn't find him one that will take him so they sent him home with me after removing him ten days. My middle son and my oldest were in the same foster care at the same time till November of 2000, then my oldest was sent home. He was living with me the whole time till they told me I had to choose over my children. While my oldest was going to school and my middle son was still in foster care. Child protection services wanted my to choose one child over another. Well you have to understand that my oldest just got home in August after being away for five years and my daughter was being sent back to a place that sent her here to being with. All three of my children never grew up together and it took me all this time to get them back together and it took the state of Iowa cps one day to break them up

Well, there is a lot more then this -- in April of 2001 my oldest went to job corp. and my middle one came home but you have to understand the foster parents couldn't keep him there because his was going to be 13 years old and they couldn't keep a 13year old in their care. So the case worker angie becker had me make sure he had a busy summer so he did he went to the whole summer so I enrolled him in the colt cadets from May or June till August. Plus he went to go visit his grandma and grandpa for the two weeks before school started. So he did that. With him being so busy for the summer he needed to be a kid an relax before school started so he did. You have to understand the reason why they were taken from me to begin with was because they were left alone. Well, while I was working I needed someone to watch my middle son while I was working so I asked for childcare and she denied me because the case worker angie becker said he was too old for child care -- she said he can make a sandwich he can call 911, he can stay home alone for the time being so he did. Everything was going all right till October of 2001 -- they took my only child that was home and put him back in to the foster home that couldn't take or keep him at 13 years old, but they could now. Well we had a meeting before removal and my lawyer was not present and I was and they didn't tell me he wasn't going to be there till everyone was in there.  I had to sit there with no emotions and except what they are doing to my family. All of this happened with no knowledge -- it was going to happen till about 2pm that after noon. 

So after school they took him again with no just cause to remove him. It is so hard to write all this and let them get away with this. Why is it a women in decroah get accused of abuse an someone hears her why not me? They have destroyed me and my family. I have no more family here they took them all away. I have even got a letter from the governor he said I make the laws I don't enforce them I have it.

Some one has to hear me please.  I have not done anything to put my kids in any harm I have more but it is upsetting me right now.  If you need more info I have even gone to the paper here, the tv station, no one will hear me not even the judge of the juvenville courts --  here here is my mailing address

Rose Pecora 
1397 Jackson d
Dubuque, Iowa 52001

The only thing I would like is my name cleared my family back together. An apology from all the people involved and restitution for all I have and will loose during this ordeal.  Here is my e-mail address too: rosepecora@hotmailcom 

I'm going to share some more --  after they took my middle boy they did an assessment two months later and I never seen her conclusion of this whole thing. The assessment person threatened me that she was going to put me on the registry for child abuse her name is lisa foley here in Dubuque.  I have been threatened a lot -- I still won't have my middle son home because they feel I'm not stable enough, but I was before the child protection service came into my home. If you need paper of any kind ask me.  I just want to clear my name like the women in decorha did.Nno one here will listen to me please.

 I hope you do --  thank you very much. I love my kids help me please.

Name: Darlene Lemus   Location:   Richmond, VA

Email Addr: moonflower2970@yahoo.com

Children/Birth Date: Celina Ayanna-Francisca Lemus 1999

Date Separated: March 21, 2002

I have been the custodial parent for 3 years now. When the relationship ended two years ago, I couldn't imagine how my ex would try and punish me. We had a bad relationship where he was the perpetrator in all cases. He was convicted of assault and battery. Once he held a knife to my gut when Celina was only 6 months old and said that he was going to kill me. He was convicted of assault and battery. 

About 8 months ago I tried talking to my x about getting a divorce, as I had met someone and wanted to remarry. Two days later I get served with a fraudulent protection order saying that I threatened to kill him. The police came to my house and removed me and my child. He claimed to the judge that he was living with me when in fact we have been separated for two years. It took a long time to get back into the house. 

My lawyer argued that my x wasn't living in the house so the protection order having me removed should be scratched. Well I moved back into the home and my x now has custody of the child, as I am being moved back out again. People say that this system is just. Where is the justice in allowing a man custody who tried to kill me two times in front of our daughter. This man also picks up strangers while he is taking our daughter out on visitation. Where is the justice when me not having a criminal record, don't smoke, or do drugs and they say in their report the child is well adjusted. 

Where is the justice removing Celina from her mom and Grandmom whom she has known for all her life. Not one time did I abandon Celina. My ex use to leave when he felt like it, leaving our daughter with no food, no diapers, no nothing. I even had to go on welfare. This man doesn't even know his daughters full name nevertheless. I have a local talk show talking about our so called Great system and these people are trying to punish me for speaking out. The GAL has been telling lies, along with some other folks. I don't know what to do because I am a good parent, but my soon to be x, he is hispanic, he use to call his daughter puta , puta, puta. And he has said to me that he would like for his daughter to go in the system. He lies on me. And the very first time that the judge seen me he says "I am afraid you will poison the child" meaning that I will turn the child against her father. I love my daughter and if my child is hurt in the company of her father i will hold them all accountable for their actions, as my x is a violent man. 

I need help to get my child back

Name: Pam Badger   Location:   Summerville, SC

Email Addr: pamelaa777@yahoo.com

Children/Birth Date: Caroline 4/8/94 Luke 2/15/00

Date Separated: Dec 13, 2000

My parents were given permanent custody of my 2 children. I do not even want to live any more.... While at a battered women's shelter with my 2 children-seeking help to get away from an abusive marriage-I was falsely accused by a children's counselor there o leaving a handprint on my then 9 mo. old son's face. Also I later saw that my then 6 yr daughter supposedly told that same counselor that  I punched and pinched her on a daily basis. 

The whole basis for this witch-hunt was that this center NEW I had a mental illness (I am manic-depressive) and I was astounded when my Dr. took their word over mine! His wife had died-she had been my primary Dr. He took me off of all my meds, conforming them to the majority of his other bi-polar patients; he wanted me to go into into the hospital. I refused saying I was petrified over the fact my children might be hurt in foster care, or sexually abused. I was extremely depressed, but I wasn't stupid. 

So he committed me and the Dept. of Social Services took over and took them away in the middle of the night-I was hysterical. I was handcuffed and leg-irons were put on me by police as I went into a mental Institute. My court appointed atty. was a very abusive, hot-tempered, mean man. He constantly reminded me of the "favor" he was doing me as a pro-bono atty. He accused me out. I was very fragile at this time. My parents had my children, made all kinds of excuses, as well as the D.S.S. G.A.L. (very biased, her father was manic-depressive, she made it known she did not like me-had a report done for the court 6 weeks after the initial papers were filed long before she interviewed me) to not let me see my children. 

I am still fighting for my child-protective files. I have contacted the A.C.L.U.... After the D.S.S file was supposedly dismissed, my parents filed a private action against me. The new atty G.A.L. ALSO had a manic-depressive relative, her grown son. She refused to recuse herself from the case and she was a personal friend of the maniac atty I had. My new psychiatrist I was seeing since late Dec. was floored for the 2nd time over the bias. That was the last straw.. The G.A.L. put me on supervised visitation for NO reason and I had it.  I fired the atty. I trust no one in the judicial system now. 

I relented and did not fight my parents in the private custody case Dec.18,2001...1yr. and 5 days after that horrible night the my children were taken. In S.C. people can lie.. you can be investigated,  and your children can be taken from you. Now I have found out though my parents are in their mid-60's they have NO intention of ever agreeing that my children be returned to me. God, I was so stupid.. My children are so acclimated there to their manipulative ways...The most haunting thing about this whole story is their abusive father was given 5 gold stars through-out all the investigations and reports (that I saw); and I showed my parents a hand-print on her rear that lasted 4 days when she was 3.... It was never mentioned throughout all this defamation of my character. The day I saw it I was so horrified I told him that I would kill him if he ever did that to Caroline again... 

Life has never been the same for me....

Name: Lisa DiMarzo Duffus   Location: Charlotte, NC
Email Addr: Ldimarzo@hotmail.com

Children/Birth Date: DJ (8-25-93) and Tonia (2-10-95)

Date Separated: April 1999

I guess I must say if you don't have a lawyer because you can't afford a lawyer, you have already lost.  I am a mother of two beautiful babies . One day I came home to find my x husband had gained temporary custody and moved them to his girlfriends house . I was so sick because I hadn't known where they were all weekend (this was a Friday). I tried to get help from courts, police or anyone. No one in the State of North Carolina seemed to know where my babies were. In  shock I spent a weekend in a local motel with my mom as she had to feed me zanax to keep me calm and asleep. Any way, court came along and of course I represented my self and made less money than he . . . so he was awarded custody and all I get was two weeks in the summer for visitation . . . oh my God! I thought. I tried to steal my daughter in February of 2000 but was told by Salisbury, North Carolina police that I would go to jail if I didn't return her. I thought deeply about this and believe me she means more to me than any jail! So I was about to go to jail until I put my faith in my brother ...

Look I am sorry.  I was supposed to march this year with  Kids-Right at Syracuse, I got cold feet. But since then I have moved to NC to see my kids more. I thought things were going to be different.  I guessed wrong, anyway, he said, " If you move here you will see them more", actually that wasn't the case.  I am still going through a really hard time. I can't see them. Their dad won't talk to me on the phone .... how immature! Anyway,  he has remarried and has my children calling her mom, kills me to no end...  How can you see your children if the father lies and won't talk to the mother. I have had it and no one will help. Sometimes I think I should have just gone to jail to prove a darn point, my heart cannot take much more
 ... lonely without my kids in NC

Update: 2/5/02:

Well thank you for your help. Maybe this year I'll not chicken out and come to Syracuse. I have been working myself to near exhaustion , trying to pay for a lawyer , because the state of NC does not have legal aid for family court. They say only if you are in a shelter. so therefore , as this state has taken my kids unless I  find an attorney , I'm doomed.. well please get back to me when you can ...

Name: Cynthia Blanchard  Location: Jacksonville, FL
Email Addr: collie01@mediaone.net

Children/Birth Date: Stephanie 1991 & Karina 1995

Date Separated: 1994

We where married young, we have four girls. Two oldest live in another state now with their father. My ex-husband left back in 94 while I was still pregnant with our youngest daughter. The other one at the time was 4 years old. He left for another woman who was just 17 years old  and she was also pregnant. .The oldest one was having problems in school and her behavior was out of control when he left. He never said goodbye --  he had me do it. So I got both of us counseling. They suggested we both try family of divorce and parenting classes. He declined. I went and still do for making myself a better parent. Our youngest was then diagnosed with a brain disorder. He never came by to visit or call. Said he didn't have time... (rest of message as originally received - Ed.)

saw the girls only 4 times in two years.i asked him to go to counseling said he would but never did they missed him terribly. he called one day after the second year and said he was leaving town that they wouldnt see him again. he left after two years I filed for divorced. didnt pay child support for those two years.since then we have moved to another state, to be closer with my family the children where. they where adjusted very well. with counseling now doing well in school. then in 2000 he decided to come back into their lives said he had changed for the better. he has a new girlfriend with a two year old. differant state he living in . said he would do better and changed no more broken promises and things like that. well I was a fool again and agreed to his having contact with them. he was good at first every week and then the same excuses I am busy or I am sick. something always to do.

I explained thats he was hurting them their grades failed. they started to misbehavior in school. he stop writing altogether. for two months.l he missed or forgot his youngest birthday. even when I reminded him a month before than a week before. but still nothing. he wrote again out of the blue said he changed again said he would write more often and keep in contact. promised whatever they needed they would have I told him the sizes of what they needed, nothing came in the mail. he missed christmas. promised gifts nothing came again.the system here where I lived said he had right for contact that they cant force him to take classes. 

but I was ordered for him to allow contact no matter how small. I think this unfair. I am the one who has to go to counseling with them and school meeting. and sit allday. he still makes promises to them no matter how hard I tell him no to and still says he will write but then dont. so we are back to the same thing. he says he will change again that he now realize that he done wrong but he says he will not seak help for the girls into counseling. for divorce children he says he has no money and cant afford it. I told him the church does some and the community center to. he says he will look into it. but who knows. I just want to know how many of iam sorry or iam sick is left. the girls dont want to write anymore they refuse, they said there daddy is gone now. that they knew. he says he busy cause he has 7 children in all 3 other women to deal with too many children involed. he wants all families to get along all the women. I just want the hurting to stop with these girls. what can I do. I was ordered for him to have contact no matter what. but its hurts them when he does this. in and out and makes promises to them.

Name: Kim Taylor  Location: Stockton, CA
Email Addr: kevkaskansmom@aol.com

Children/Birth Date: Kevin John -1989,  Kasey John - 1991,  Kannen John - 1993

Date Separated: 1998

He has sole custody. No court battles as of today's date. MY feelings? Hmmm... That's a question that has not been asked to me one time from the courts. Nor have any of the decision makers in this twisted ness of unfairness asked any one of my 3 beautiful sons. I am to not feel anything, is what I guess the law and it's fellow enforcers of this real travesty expects me to come to terms with and simply just understand. I fear getting started even attempting to patiently, and without harshness write another letter on this matter. It is a subject that runs so very deep and is very painful to me thru personal experience. 

I still CANNOT believe I am not raising/watching my sons grow up!!!! I just simply don't know how, or why this has happened to me and my children. Or for anyone else who has lost their babies to a man that only wanted to hurt us wonderful mothers to the ultimate of extremeness if we ever left our abusive marriage. Well, my ex always warned me to never leave. That I would severely pay. And he made sure of those repeated and promised words. I don't even get to see my babies. Unless, of course its done as an eye spy and a sneak. Watching my surroundings at all times to not get caught, and go to jail. (which has happened) I have to look from afar. I have to dress incognito. With only a few moments to let my babies know that I am alright. And that I have never stopped loving them. And that I will never give up on us. NEVER!! 

Only to then walk away from them again singing "our" song aloud. "YOU ARE MY SUNSHINES". Until we can no longer hear or see each other in clear sight. Tears rolling down all 4 of our faces. (just like they roll down my face right now, as I write this letter in hopes of some help) Complete emptiness, and loneliness. A rage, and a deeper hole in all our hearts is what we are left with again and again. And only to leave them one more time. Because I have too according to what the law says I must comply to!!! Or I will go to prison for kidnapping my very own children. God forbid I ! ! DO ANYTHING ILLEGAL in my divorce/ custody case. (and he loves dialing 911) 

He's abusive in every way possible. He also has his family financial support. Which is enormous amounts of money. He has the town that he was raised in for social support.( very small town) He also was blessed with a prominate name in his community. And he has the evilness that is only shown behind those closed doors. The courts are completely biased. And I have not a chance ever being fairly heard. And believe me I have tried, And tried. And now 5 long years have past. And I am no closer to having my sons safe and with me again. In my arms, where they belong. I was a stay home mother. So in all the abuse, I had no money of my own. Its an unbelievable story for almost anyone to except as the truth. 

Somedays, even to myself. That is unless you are actually one of the mothers such as me with a similar story. I refuse to accept that what the legal system has illegally and unfairly taken from me and my sons to be anything but sick, heartless and without any shame, or guilt by any one of the people that swore to uphold the truth in legal matters where lives were at risk. The courts have been bought off and sold to the higher bidder. Unfortunately it was not me. I lost my life as my Kevin's, my Kasey boy's, and my Kannen's (mammas bubbish) mother. 

And the worst of it all. I don't even have the RIGHT to ask why or what I did wrong to not have any rights at all? Not one of those irresponsible individuals even take a moments time to think about what severe life threatening damage they have done to our lives. Instead, they get go home after a days work has been finished. Only to return home to their homes and beautiful children. This would not happen to one of the legal representatives that took the right to steal me and my boys away from one another. To just add insult to injury. He took my children from my entire family as well. And this of course ripped my entire family apart. 

And now it is coming up to the date of the 1 year anniversary of my mothers death. MY babies didn't even get to respectfully say their good-bye's to their grandmother. Whom they loved with all their hearts. How much more are we supposed to just accept and just accept and get over with no regard to what has happened to so many of us involved? What kind of world did I bring 3 innocent angels into? I fear what any kind of man would do what has been done to us. Am I going to be on the 5:00 news in devastation one day because no one would listen or help get my babies back to me AND FINALLY he snapped to the ultimate in one of his very mentally unbalanced rages. Who will be responsible then? How dare anyone who accepts my story or others like me as anything less than an severely wrong way for us to live, And not humanly try to help these children that are our worlds future. God help this worlds way of believing. What will the end result be if my babies are to continue being raised by someone such as the person I describe? And for anyone else as well, that suffers in the laws way of thinking? Or not thinking at all in actuality? Any help by anyone is deeply appreciated. Thank-you for allowing such a place on the web. Even if its only to vent.

Update 1/30/02 - Hello again to all who have read and responded with true human compassion to my and my three sons unfortunate situation. All the letters of encouragment and advice is so very much appreciated. I equally sympathize and wish so much that any of you as well, would not have to go through the tragic trials that have put you in the place that you are in your daily lives. When will justice be served? I will continue to keep going in my knowledge of what I have learned in this seperation from my sons.

Something soon must change. And I say this not for just me and my sons. But for anyone that has our same stories. And we parents and children must stick together!!!Since alot of times, we are all that we have for a true understanding of the non stopping ache and pain that we have been unfairly FORCED to live with. PLEASE keep the reponses comming. I swear it really helps to know that I am really not all alone. God bless this web site! And God bless our beautiful children! Thank-you!

Corruption is so widely spread in our government and if you try to prove this you'll be sorry!! and they win! People should speak up and fight back.  Those are my children no one else's. What can we do?

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This page was last updated on: 01/19/03 13:06